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rainbow: "count the number of times im magical over new jersey."
me: "get out of my league!"
rainbow: "no, seriously - go counting."
me: "fine. one-two. youre magical twice over new jersey."
rainbow: "thats right. youre right. now dont forget it and get out of here."
me: "dont imaginary-speak to me like im an imbecile."
(pause)
rainbow: "hows your coffee?"
me: "its good thanks."
ten years ago today was 1997. in commemoration ive complied the following bulleted list of associations;
•faxing
•compact discs
•phish
•volkswagen jettas
•"crohn's disease"
•using the name on your birth certificate
•alternately, using your middle name as your first
•alternately, using your middle finger as your thumb
•excusing yourself from the dinner table
•only using "land lines" for phone calls
•the hard pretzel and coca-cola combo
•rico brogna, gregg jeffries
•boycotting titanic
•jackie lasek
•going to the bank to deposit checks
•going to the bank to withdrawal dollars
•that store next to the bank
•not knowing enough to use the word "land line" 8 bullets up
•five dollar whole pizza pies
•being visited by the craig one of 2007
•getting confused as to what he meant by "blog"
•just felt right (courtesy willow)
•kenny g, savage garden
•ted is in vermont with god doesnt even know who
•being graded on a conventional letter grade scale
•bluejeans (courtesy massimo)
and
•wawa
*coincidentally "dot dot dot" is sooo 2008 and "dave matthews band" where dave=dot, matthews=dot, & band=dot is sooo 2009. please dont confuse this with the band dave matthews band which i should have listed in the preceding bulleted list of things that are sooo 1997.
BUT dot dot dot i still found time to go 1/2 (one for two) in high fiving strangers hailing cabs on saturday night. the first time i failed but garnered a laugh from the hailer & her friend. the second time i succeeded but the high five really left little to be desired; it was all finger.
note: this raises my season and career HFA to .400
im biased, but shes really the only good thing weve got going. (ill admit lime fruit bars are also very good).
dear massimo;
¡merry-go-rounding the sun to you! thanks for the many inspirations.
im making love to you,
craig one
this is the stuff of life, i tell you. one day youre high-fiving strangers left and right in a celebration of humanity and the next youre mourning the loss of a true digital friend.
my loving computer of five years is no longer with us. after so much time together he must have tired of me and my nagging requests. when i asked for one more restart he simply said, "no." your last words will linger if not haunt me späggt. i dont think ill forget you, even as i usher in the age of RE:späggt. rest in pieces.
anyone want to get drunk?
this evening i was 1/1 (one for one) in high five attempts with humans hailing cabs. the hailer and i locked eyes as i raised my hand which, i reflect now, was so critical to "success." i watched as he changed his hailing hand into a high five hand, almost losing whatever coolness i even had. but i remained calm like a morning lake (perfect for fishing)!!!!! the slap between us was dry, loud, on time, and accompanied by a "¡yo man!" from my participatory friend. thank you stranger! dont even tell me youre just gearing up for national high five day.
note: this raises my season and career HFA to .333
and 3 = good? are you kidding me? whoever created such a scale needs to seriously re-evaluate.
i like to think of rain as little pieces of heaven floating right on down. which means heaven is one giant pool with occasional leaks. and that makes sense. i just hope its not chlorinated or heavily pooped in by rats.
people hailing cabs are not asking for high-fives. i tried twice tonight with a failure rate of 100%.
i like having you on my planet. happy your own personal new year! alls be well around the sun again. ¡out loud!
this is a question all too often asked when the answer is available to the asker by simple observations.
ps; what are you doing?
yesterday i swore the bird sounds in madison square park were fake to my ears. i couldnt believe they were not amplified. i even said so aloud. my associate disagreed heavily right to my face. then again, this morning! the sounds were overwhelmifying. i thought i might really be crazy, prompting me to google "bird sounds madison square park." sure enough and right on time i discovered the truth. thank you google & national publics radio. bill fontana is a lame sick-o.
one: ah, check out the lovely ladies of lunchtime.
christos: big lungs, small wings.
*actually two separate conversations melted down to one.
(this is a wine bottle).
thanks.
because "T" minus 3 long hours before the phillies start their much anticipated 2007 campaign. theyll be traveling around the many states this spring and summer lobbying for a coveted spot in the postseason, something that has eluded them since the tag team song "whoomp there it is" (see lyrics) was actually popular and not just funny in the ironic sense.
i was in philadelphtown this weekend to see the phillies in exhibition action against dice-k and his nation of red sox fans. dice-k was ill with his hip gyrations, trust me, but pats the bats blasted a two run jack and then flipped our old boy terry francona the "bird." (see pic and link to story). now youve got the spirit pat! adam eaton pitched like shitty, trust me! today its brett myers taking on john smoltz on TBS. @ 13:05. whoomp it on.
party people
yeah tag team music
in full effect
thats me DC the brain supreme
and my man steve roll'n
were kickin the flow, were kickin the flow
and it goes a little somethin like this
tag team back again
check and direct and lets begin
party on party people let me hear some noise
DCs in the house jump jump rejoice
theres a party over here
a party over there
wave your hands in the air
shake your derriere
these three words when youre gettin busy
whoomp there it is
hit me
upside down and inside out
im about to show all you folks
what its all about
now its time for a brother to get on the mic
and make this mother party hype
im taking it back to the old school
cause im an old fool whos so cool
if you want to get down
im gonna show you the way
whoomp there it is
let me hear you say
whoomp chak-a-laka chak-a-laka chak-a-laka chak-a (repeat 4 times)
point blank gin and juice i drank
gettin bent and bent and as I puff on a dankt
rock a mic
uh oh i crave skin
rip shit
find a honey to to dip it in
Slam dunk it stick it flip it and ride
That b-double-o-t-y oh my
ooh thats it come on come on
whoomp there it is
im done
some say im crazy
cause im pushin up daises
the underground sound that you have found
amazing outstanding demanding
commanding you people dancin
shit thats a breath taker
i produce aka the undertaker
you want to come down to the underground
old school heres a shovel can you dig it fool
can you dig it
we can dig it
can yall dig it
we can dig it
w-h-double-o-m-p as i flow
to the fly shit from the school of old
hardcore keep the folk lore wreck
three to the two and one mic check
mad skill flow ill on the mesh of steel
thats the grill of the microphone i just killed
party people its your party tag team is through
whoomp there it is i thought you knew
yeah tag team music comin straight atcha
thats me DC the brain supreme
and my man steve roll'n
bring it back yall bring it back yall bring it back
here we go
whoomp there it is
