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with my fellow radio personality leon of the trees now in venice (here i do not mean CA), i am left all alone in our north american efforts to curb road work. here youll see my efforts on the streets of brooklyn, ny. ill leave leon to cover all points european. all we are saying is 'leave the roads in severe disrepair!'
additionally, youll note, im introducing a new campaign: NO STANDING ANYTIME. remain seated at all costs!
and please dont forget our long standing efforts to FREE LEAF MULCH, which has been unjustly held in captivity for far too long.
so the phillies did it tonight. 10000 losses. thanks phillies, for ruining a guys sunday.
(courtesy manuel bieh)
thanks to loyal reader melina g-a., for although im not sure she was trying to hail a cab at the time, nonetheless delivered to me the best high five of the season. the scenario had g-a. on the street ... our eyes making the eyes of recognition ... g-a. hustling beyond the curb to meet me ... then making smaktastic contact with my outstretched right hand with hers. best yet, not a word was uttered before or during. only my whisper-yell of 'yesssssssssssss' afterwards. pure unadulterated smaktown. thanks melina, for making a guys sunday.
courtney: 'craig, did i ever tell you that when i lived in LA i had a boyfriend named craig and he looked exactly like you?'
one: 'no. did i ever tell you that i used to live in LA and we used to date?'
Dear Jose Mesa,
Please die in a fire.
Thanks,
Everyone.
Posted by: Chris | Saturday, July 07, 2007 at 12:01 AM
coffee yogurt was on sale at the super fresh market. fireworks were also heavily discounted.
*courtesy point reyes national seashore + april showers
look at patrick the nephew here with the proper attitude! he has adjusted to the outside world furiously fast. let the record indicate that i wont be the least bit surprised when you become an excellent oceanographer, sir!
*not related to banner-outs
maybe i thought it said "the algorithm killed jesus," in which case itd be a billboard placed by the romans and jews (perhaps even pontius pilate himself) in an attempt to exonerate themselves of the execution of christ lord our king, jesus of nazareth.
so many people make billboards these days its really hard to know :(
(photo dan melinger)
the first time i saw this ask.com billboard i mistakenly thought it read "the algorithm killed jews." im not sure why as its quite a jump from jeeves to jews but ¡wow! is what i thought in my head out loud. until i got closer. but still when i pass it, i wind up thinking about my original misreading and how this billboard was placed here by the nazis in an effort to escape responsibility years after the holocaust. and wouldnt that just be their style!?! and what a poor excuse for genocide it really is!?! and do the nazis seriously think im that dumb!?!
my grief,
was her spoon,
feeding her,
her eternity.
(photo mason lecky)
rainbow: "count the number of times im magical over new jersey."
me: "get out of my league!"
rainbow: "no, seriously - go counting."
me: "fine. one-two. youre magical twice over new jersey."
rainbow: "thats right. youre right. now dont forget it and get out of here."
me: "dont imaginary-speak to me like im an imbecile."
(pause)
rainbow: "hows your coffee?"
me: "its good thanks."
ten years ago today was 1997. in commemoration ive complied the following bulleted list of associations;
•faxing
•compact discs
•phish
•volkswagen jettas
•"crohn's disease"
•using the name on your birth certificate
•alternately, using your middle name as your first
•alternately, using your middle finger as your thumb
•excusing yourself from the dinner table
•only using "land lines" for phone calls
•the hard pretzel and coca-cola combo
•rico brogna, gregg jeffries
•boycotting titanic
•jackie lasek
•going to the bank to deposit checks
•going to the bank to withdrawal dollars
•that store next to the bank
•not knowing enough to use the word "land line" 8 bullets up
•five dollar whole pizza pies
•being visited by the craig one of 2007
•getting confused as to what he meant by "blog"
•just felt right (courtesy willow)
•kenny g, savage garden
•ted is in vermont with god doesnt even know who
•being graded on a conventional letter grade scale
•bluejeans (courtesy massimo)
and
•wawa
*coincidentally "dot dot dot" is sooo 2008 and "dave matthews band" where dave=dot, matthews=dot, & band=dot is sooo 2009. please dont confuse this with the band dave matthews band which i should have listed in the preceding bulleted list of things that are sooo 1997.
BUT dot dot dot i still found time to go 1/2 (one for two) in high fiving strangers hailing cabs on saturday night. the first time i failed but garnered a laugh from the hailer & her friend. the second time i succeeded but the high five really left little to be desired; it was all finger.
note: this raises my season and career HFA to .400
im biased, but shes really the only good thing weve got going. (ill admit lime fruit bars are also very good).
dear massimo;
¡merry-go-rounding the sun to you! thanks for the many inspirations.
im making love to you,
craig one
this is the stuff of life, i tell you. one day youre high-fiving strangers left and right in a celebration of humanity and the next youre mourning the loss of a true digital friend.
my loving computer of five years is no longer with us. after so much time together he must have tired of me and my nagging requests. when i asked for one more restart he simply said, "no." your last words will linger if not haunt me späggt. i dont think ill forget you, even as i usher in the age of RE:späggt. rest in pieces.
anyone want to get drunk?
this evening i was 1/1 (one for one) in high five attempts with humans hailing cabs. the hailer and i locked eyes as i raised my hand which, i reflect now, was so critical to "success." i watched as he changed his hailing hand into a high five hand, almost losing whatever coolness i even had. but i remained calm like a morning lake (perfect for fishing)!!!!! the slap between us was dry, loud, on time, and accompanied by a "¡yo man!" from my participatory friend. thank you stranger! dont even tell me youre just gearing up for national high five day.
note: this raises my season and career HFA to .333
and 3 = good? are you kidding me? whoever created such a scale needs to seriously re-evaluate.
i like to think of rain as little pieces of heaven floating right on down. which means heaven is one giant pool with occasional leaks. and that makes sense. i just hope its not chlorinated or heavily pooped in by rats.
people hailing cabs are not asking for high-fives. i tried twice tonight with a failure rate of 100%.
i like having you on my planet. happy your own personal new year! alls be well around the sun again. ¡out loud!
this is a question all too often asked when the answer is available to the asker by simple observations.
ps; what are you doing?
yesterday i swore the bird sounds in madison square park were fake to my ears. i couldnt believe they were not amplified. i even said so aloud. my associate disagreed heavily right to my face. then again, this morning! the sounds were overwhelmifying. i thought i might really be crazy, prompting me to google "bird sounds madison square park." sure enough and right on time i discovered the truth. thank you google & national publics radio. bill fontana is a lame sick-o.
one: ah, check out the lovely ladies of lunchtime.
christos: big lungs, small wings.
*actually two separate conversations melted down to one.
(this is a wine bottle).
thanks.
because "T" minus 3 long hours before the phillies start their much anticipated 2007 campaign. theyll be traveling around the many states this spring and summer lobbying for a coveted spot in the postseason, something that has eluded them since the tag team song "whoomp there it is" (see lyrics) was actually popular and not just funny in the ironic sense.
i was in philadelphtown this weekend to see the phillies in exhibition action against dice-k and his nation of red sox fans. dice-k was ill with his hip gyrations, trust me, but pats the bats blasted a two run jack and then flipped our old boy terry francona the "bird." (see pic and link to story). now youve got the spirit pat! adam eaton pitched like shitty, trust me! today its brett myers taking on john smoltz on TBS. @ 13:05. whoomp it on.
party people
yeah tag team music
in full effect
thats me DC the brain supreme
and my man steve roll'n
were kickin the flow, were kickin the flow
and it goes a little somethin like this
tag team back again
check and direct and lets begin
party on party people let me hear some noise
DCs in the house jump jump rejoice
theres a party over here
a party over there
wave your hands in the air
shake your derriere
these three words when youre gettin busy
whoomp there it is
hit me
upside down and inside out
im about to show all you folks
what its all about
now its time for a brother to get on the mic
and make this mother party hype
im taking it back to the old school
cause im an old fool whos so cool
if you want to get down
im gonna show you the way
whoomp there it is
let me hear you say
whoomp chak-a-laka chak-a-laka chak-a-laka chak-a (repeat 4 times)
point blank gin and juice i drank
gettin bent and bent and as I puff on a dankt
rock a mic
uh oh i crave skin
rip shit
find a honey to to dip it in
Slam dunk it stick it flip it and ride
That b-double-o-t-y oh my
ooh thats it come on come on
whoomp there it is
im done
some say im crazy
cause im pushin up daises
the underground sound that you have found
amazing outstanding demanding
commanding you people dancin
shit thats a breath taker
i produce aka the undertaker
you want to come down to the underground
old school heres a shovel can you dig it fool
can you dig it
we can dig it
can yall dig it
we can dig it
w-h-double-o-m-p as i flow
to the fly shit from the school of old
hardcore keep the folk lore wreck
three to the two and one mic check
mad skill flow ill on the mesh of steel
thats the grill of the microphone i just killed
party people its your party tag team is through
whoomp there it is i thought you knew
yeah tag team music comin straight atcha
thats me DC the brain supreme
and my man steve roll'n
bring it back yall bring it back yall bring it back
here we go
whoomp there it is
i did good singing to dying tonight
patches dry hard not wet
no heart drops only sweat
the song from my stomach right
waving it off Until
;c1
every day i dance
and sing the harmonies of dying.
;c1
1) one chocolate croissant once daily please (preferably in the AM with one hot coffee or one pg-tip-styled tea, thank you).
1) one spirited set of pinged-pong daily where you crush your main man christos.
welcome!
and instead its me whos doing the humoring of you.
& check out my cousin lynns blog here. shes davids wife.
banking pros; checks smell good, makes me feel like a sort of adult
banking cons; not enough time, second letter a, not a good cook
break out the composition books & mechanical pencils;
•the earths core is a solid block of ice
•lava really isnt that hot once you get used to it
•two more hands would really be useful
•rhinoceros
•doug glanville is a smart man perhaps, but was a mediocre ballplayer at best
•mount rushmore was formed by the colorado river and its years of erosion
•if youre not afraid of traveling fast down mountainy slopes, you ought to try skiing
•9 is the laughingest number
•ice is free (again, thanks hoagie)
•the moon itself does not generate light, but light does
•tomorrow i swear ill do better at blogging
•sex is natural/sex is fun/sex is best when its one on one (thanks george michael)
•fish are easily tricked but you probably dont want to be on their shit list
•arson is like love without all the mystery and wonder
•al gore without the beard!
if youre 60% water and im 60% water then together, my dear mathmuncher, were more water than, like i said atop, water itself. pats on the watery backs all around.
the perfect sneaker
la chaussure de sport parfaite
o gatuno perfeito
прекрасный катер
la zapatilla de deporte perfecta
for about a year now ive touted this sneaker as truly the best ive had all life. well today after much searching i finally found a place still selling them. so ive squirreled away two-pair so youll likely see me wearing these well into the early 2010. sorry if you hate them. i love you.
i was just thinking that if i could remove my brain from its skull and let it soak for many minutes in a tub of cool water i would feel sooo gooof.
