a one guide to one hundred one years plus one

1) one chocolate croissant once daily please (preferably in the AM with one hot coffee or one pg-tip-styled tea, thank you).
1) one spirited set of pinged-pong daily where you crush your main man christos.

superior meat + welcome china

welcome!

i hope youre not just humoring me

and instead its me whos doing the humoring of you.
& check out my cousin lynns blog here. shes davids wife.

banking pros and cons

banking pros; checks smell good, makes me feel like a sort of adult
banking cons; not enough time, second letter a, not a good cook

happy birthday bruce i love you

fire

mendhi

more scientific fact

break out the composition books & mechanical pencils;

•the earths core is a solid block of ice
•lava really isnt that hot once you get used to it
•two more hands would really be useful
•rhinoceros
•doug glanville is a smart man perhaps, but was a mediocre ballplayer at best
•mount rushmore was formed by the colorado river and its years of erosion
•if youre not afraid of traveling fast down mountainy slopes, you ought to try skiing
•9 is the laughingest number
•ice is free (again, thanks hoagie)
•the moon itself does not generate light, but light does
•tomorrow i swear ill do better at blogging
•sex is natural/sex is fun/sex is best when its one on one (thanks george michael)
•fish are easily tricked but you probably dont want to be on their shit list
•arson is like love without all the mystery and wonder
•al gore without the beard!

together were more water than water itself

if youre 60% water and im 60% water then together, my dear mathmuncher, were more water than, like i said atop, water itself. pats on the watery backs all around.

der vollkommene Sportschuh

the perfect sneaker
la chaussure de sport parfaite
o gatuno perfeito
прекрасный катер
la zapatilla de deporte perfecta

for about a year now ive touted this sneaker as truly the best ive had all life. well today after much searching i finally found a place still selling them. so ive squirreled away two-pair so youll likely see me wearing these well into the early 2010. sorry if you hate them. i love you.

many times fresh i feel it

i was just thinking that if i could remove my brain from its skull and let it soak for many minutes in a tub of cool water i would feel sooo gooof.

dont dot dot dot

bones i have yet to break

on women and evolution

i was trying to explain to chandra last night how women are probably evolutionarily one step ahead of men. she seemed skeptical so i broke it down for her today in list format (see below);;;

•on average women live longer human lives
•women have better peripheral vision and can thus react quicker to enemies approaching (from the side)
•a woman can breathe under water
•there are 3000+ species of women (and counting)
•a woman has less body hair and is capable of faster travel, a less turbulent flight through space, & a positively refreshed feeling upon reaching her final destination
•boobs are natural flotation devices
•women can produce their own milk and, potentially, cheese in times of dire thirst and, potentially, hunger
•women have brains like dolphins and ears like bats
•a woman can accurately predict the coming of earthquakes across the globe plus some avalanches in Switzerland
•a woman can survive for about a month without her head if conditions are cool and relatively disease and mold free

spare me the hate mail, men. the truth hurts but it can also set you free.

2 million dollar poem

where s = you bet

or a list of things ive written in my typings today;

•thanks and you
•impossible is a safe place
•call me cone
•i never sugar there
•for woodchuck now
•how to get your happy
•when i think about the money ive spent i dont even think about it
•get out of hyperpause
•is that ice cream?
•❤❤❤
•money isnt a substitute for you
•cory lidle or something?
•the hills are old
•lets talk more in percentages when you have a chance
•holy hell
•yeah, i shouldnt have told you about it either
•now youve got the spirit
•i would tell them this is not easily done; like days
•the zero is so lonely
•wow . . . immaculate
•wolf will have a decent year
•now, what about the shoes?
•whats the dialogue over there like?

i know my death will be inconvenient

so um sorry about that yall. way in advance.

see you on the internet

adam made meat of me in buck hunter and also said "see you on the internet" when we parted which was true and funny; perhaps both in part due to the other, no?

note one; this is a different adam than the pre-mentioned atom. but now we all know theyve both said great things out loud.

note two; this adam's girlfriend drinks a chocolate milk every morning, rather than say, a coffee. i thought that was the no. one.

happy birthday Awkward

check out the youtube clip of atom and his package where things get weird and atom notes quite plainly also brilliantly, "this is a weird world that we're in right now."



❤c1

m.a.d.

i found this at our LA office before christmastime 2006;